We all have at some time in our life experienced those moments where we find ourselves uncomfortable and unable to speak out in a group of people, whether it be to voice our opinion or to stand up and present to a group of our peers or work colleagues. I used to shudder at the thought of being asked to speak at events and social occasions.
What changed for me?
I knew I had a message to share with the world. I also realized that I was not stepping into my truth because of a perceived notion of judgment and ridicule by others. What came to light for me was that through fear, I had felt all my life that I didn’t have a voice.
Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s in Perth was difficult for a young child who looked different. I’ve had racial abuse hurled at me, been spat on and told I would never amount to anything. I was lost and confused and I had coded in that I wasn’t good enough. I continually rebelled as to what was considered the ‘norm’, with me regularly challenging the status quo.
My parents always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be. My mother was fighting her own demons at the time and when I got married she told me repeatedly that I had to take care of my husband in all aspects because if I didn’t he would look for it elsewhere. When I had my children my mother used to tell me regularly that I was not a good enough mother. I couldn’t get off this treadmill pleasing everyone. Trying my hardest but never succeeding. It didn’t matter what I did. I kept getting that affirmation from everyone THAT I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH it kept going deeper and deeper until I believed that’s who I was. I couldn’t find the courage within me to speak up for myself; I continually felt I was drowning. I kept downloading the program that I was not worthy to have a voice, to speak up. I had accepted that I had nothing to say.
I searched for love and acceptance through external means, to fill the void I felt was gaping inside of me. I hated myself for everything that was different about me. I was determined to hide my true feelings of self-worth under a cleverly disguised mask. I became known as the happy friend that would do anything for everyone else. I was craving friendship and love and still I never really fitted in! I desperately wanted to have a voice but somewhere along the way I had lost my confidence and the identity of who I really was.
I knew this wasn’t living but I was lost and I didn’t know where to start. One day I woke up at 42, miserable and realised that making everyone happy was making me miserable and something needed to change because this was not living!
I realized that these stories, memories, patterns were all an illusion. They were not mine. They belonged to all those other people who over the years had put me down at my expense. Yes, I acknowledged that I had breathed in all those stories from a young child to the age of 42 by choice. It was a journey and I have learned many lessons along the way.
Does any of this resonate in your life?
Has there been a point in your life where you felt the words choke up in your throat and you just could not speak up?
Did someone ever make you feel that your voice, your message was not valid?
So how did I get past all those blocks and start re-discovering my voice?
I formulated these three tips and started implementing them in my life straight away, they allowed me to re-discover my voice and stand out from the crowd.
Tip 1
Connect With Your Authentic Truth
What do you really believe? Lets remove those stories and opinions from other people. Allow yourself to sit in stillness and ask, ‘What do I believe?’ Acknowledging whatever comes up for you. For example, my pattern was ‘I am unworthy’. I visited this presumption and recognised the stories that surfaced for me around this limiting belief.
I realised I was living my life a certain way because of a few instances that occurred in my life. I was so attached to those stories that I allowed them to keep resurfacing throughout my teenage years and into my adult life. All those memories were an illusion. They were not my truth.
As I allowed myself with no attachment to sit in a place of rediscovering who I really was I felt like a rosebud opening up and blooming. Each belief and story that came up I asked, ‘Does this belief serve me moving forward?’ If it did not resonate with me, I would acknowledge it and release it.
Now remember because these patterns have been running in your life for a very long time, they might occasionally resurface. Each time recognise the belief and the story as limiting your true potential and make the choice to let it go. The mistake many of us make is by pushing that story to one side and not giving space to resolve the fear. This is not allowing you to distinguish between the illusion and your truth.
Tip 2
What Is Your Purpose?
On a weekly basis I am met by this statement from clients and people who connect with me, “I don’t know what my purpose is?”
We either look for the Universe to slam-dunk something into our lap or we compare ourselves to other successful people in our tribe. When all it is for you is to answer these simple questions:
- What gets me excited?
- The things I am passionate about and why?
- Make a list of some things that I really love doing.
- What’s my message to share with the world?
You and only you know what your purpose is. Tap into the source, which is YOU. Listen to your voice. Remove yourself from all the noise in your head. Sit still and listen, your purpose will be revealed to you.
Tip 3
Believe + Plan + Action = Manifest
Ask yourself what do you now believe?
Write a plan moving forward. It may not be standing in front of a crowd speaking, perhaps it’s sharing with those close to you about your journey and rediscovery and that you are now going to embrace all that is within you and share your message.
How will you action your plan? If you feel strongly about sharing your message with the world look for opportunities to get in front of people. Organise workshops, put your had up to speak at events. Or next time someone asks you to say a few words in a social setting, say you would love to. I always talk about baby steps. Don’t look at the mountain; focus on each step you take moving forward.
What will the end result be? Only you can answer that question. Think BIG!
Let’s summarise. How you will re-discover your voice? Focus within to connect with your authentic truth without comparison to anyone else.
How do you stand out from the crowd? To own your shit! Sit in that place of non-comparison, understanding that if someone calls you out, it’s a lesson. When you step into your power magical things will happen.
I want you to know that YOU ARE AWESOME!
You do have a voice and a message to share with the world.
YOU ARE WORTHY!
Ask yourself do I:
- Love AND appreciate myself.
- Do I choose to live in abundance, happiness and joy everyday.
- Am I absolutely content in the knowing that I AM ENOUGH.
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE!
I CHALLENGE YOU TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND OWN IT!!
